How Kids Learn From Us

We like to think that we impart wisdom to kids at a moment when they need it and so that is how they learn. But while some of that is true, they mostly learn from observation and listening.

We feel that while we are in our own home, we can be ourselves and that should be true. But we have to realize since we share that same space with growing curious minds, we need to be aware of who we really are, our attitude, how we speak, our likes and dislikes and our openness to change.

For example, what if you do not like how you look and are always going on about that bit of fat or that you want to take away all the mirrors in the house. Even if you never voices this, the look on your face and what you have to say about your clothes likely gives you away.

Kids can feel what you do. Is it just the tone of voice or something deeper implied? They might not be able to put their finger on it but they know it makes you unhappy and in turn, that gets turned into an attitude that affects them.

Every child wants to know they can rely on you and when you turn on them because of some demon you are dealing with, they think it is something they did to upset you. They are sensitive and like sponges so you need to monitor your own actions around them.

I thought when I was a kid that there was something wrong with me because I was always under scrutiny. Much later in my life, my folks told me my mother was adopted and that was a secret they were keeping.

When I think back, all the emotions I felt and hours spent anguishing over actions I could not control came down to a secret they would not share. If they had told me, I would know they were just wondering if I would look like my mother or her mother and were comparing. How could I know that?

So please, think about your own issues and how you let things out. It is more than not arguing in front of your children or sharing biases in what you say. It is about being a better human being as an example for your child to follow.