Time Means Nothing To Kids
I recently read an article that looked into how children relate to time. It was revealed that the concept was not the same as what adults understand.
A father was just like the rest of us so that he wanted access to all his son did when in preschool and kindergarten. The link was available by video contact or phone calls from the school and all of this was to calm parents so that they knew their little ones were safe.
He was grateful for this because he loved his son and missed being removed from him. So on the day he came home from the first day of school, he made the mistake of asking him, "How was your day?" The blank look and shrug that followed made a clear disconnect and the father realized his son did not understand.
Children tend to remember segments of time and events up to a certain age and after that, they are able to understand how the world views time, for example, throughout a day. But the question this father asked was not relatable to the child.
So a better question might be, "Did you make any new friends today?" The fact that it is very specific helps the child to focus on what it is you really want to know. That could mean you then have to ask a lot more questions to get a full picture but that is what we have to consider when communicating with our kids.
It also does not occur to a child that you are having anxiety about the separation you experience when he is not near you. It might help to let him know that when you cannot share the time together you like it when he tells you the things he did without you that day so you can feel like you are there. That he will understand.
Following this story, it also occurred to me that we just really do not say what we really mean. Understanding how the other person sees things is helpful. We have to be vigilant about sharing our thoughts and saying what we really mean. You might say, it is time we see the other person's point of view.